Listening in a relationship
The best communication in a relationship happens when people take time to listen. Listening in a relationship is so important. This isn't always an easy task though especially if you feel that you are being attacked or if you are vulnerable to criticism. The trick is to give your partner attention with the sole intention of understanding them. It is also important to know how to make requests of your partner. The best requests are made in simple, direct language and delivered without the fear of rejection. Playful requests can really work too.
Learning the concept of listening in a relationship is to be aware of the different types of listening and not to utilize a form of listening that may extend the argument and contribute to hurt feelings. Stick to involved, active listening that keeps the argument heading to a peaceful resolution.
What are the different methods of listening in a relationship and what to avoid?
* "I'm Right" listening method- Many people communicate using an "I'm Right" method of listening. This is just like it sounds- the whole time that your partner is talking, all you can think about is how you are going to rebut everything that they say because "You are right". When you listen this way, much of your partner's communication gets lost and you never hear the point that is being made.
* "That reminds me" listening method- This is when you can't listen to your partner because you are too busy going off on a tangent. For instance, your partner says they don't like when you leave the garage door open and you respond by reminding them that they didn't take the trash out like they should have. Your partner can't get their point across and their feelings heard because you are too busy being defensive and having a rebuttal argument. If you keep throwing up past mistakes then the issue at hand will never have a real chance of being solved.
* "Whatever" listening method- When you are not engaged in a conversation because you are too tired or simply uninterested in the topic, you are not taking in what your partner is saying. This type of listening method is passive-aggressive because, by refusing to give the conversation the attention that it deserves, you are telling your partner that you do not care about their needs.
* "I'm involved" listening method- This type of listening is the most effective type. When you give your partner 100 percent of your attention, you give off a vibe that shows that you are interested. You maintain eye contact, nod when you understand their point, raise questions without interrupting when you don't understand what they are saying. In return, your partner is more involved in listening and understanding your feedback. This listening method is the most effective way to resolve any argument, but it will take both of you to practice listening in a relationship.
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