Women are encouraged to learn the categories of dangerousness and to explore their own histories for clues to their personal relationship selection choices. Signs of a Bad Relationship Choice are taken right from our research from women who were interviewed for the book. Women who have been in relationships with 4-5 dangerous men report these are potential SIGNS for a bad relationship choice…

~ Does not respect your need for alone time

~ Pushes to see you even when you don’t want to

~ Discourages your outside interests, family, friends, and career relationships

~ Tries to isolate you from other relationships

~ Asks you to do things you are uncomfortable doing (ie, lying, loaning

him money, sex, etc.)

~ Uses drugs or uses alcohol too frequently or abundantly

~ Frequent unemployment which he claims is never his fault

~ Frequent job changes due to being fired or dismissed that he explains away

~ Wants to control your hair, dress, behavior, friends, or job

~ Wants you to quit or change jobs/friends/relationships for him because HE is uncomfortable with them

~ Has had multiple unsuccessful relationships

~ Known by others that he lies

~ You find out information you should have known about him

~ Physically, emotionally, verbally, or sexually ‘rough’ or ‘weird’

~ Too charming—has all the right lines and appears excessively smooth

~ History or previous diagnosis of mental illness especially:

* Untreated depression * Un-medicated bipolar (previously manic

depression) * Conduct Disorder or Anti-Social Personality Disorder

* Schizophrenia * Narcissistic or Borderline Personality Disorder

* Unsuccessful treatment of substance abuse or PTSD

~ Has a criminal record of which these should be noteworthy:

* Recurrent speeding violations * DUI * Assault on a female * Battery

of any kind * Other assaults * Any sexual offense * Forgery/bad

checks * Dead-beat dad issues

~ He is inflexible and cannot change to meet a spontaneous request

~ The rules are for everyone else except him

~ Has problems with authority figures

Extremely Dangerous Behaviors include:

~ Threatening to kill anyone or anything, even in passing

~ Assault on a pregnant woman

~ Forced sex in any capacity even with a known partner

~ Assault in front of other people

~ Violation of Court Orders or Restraining Orders

~ Stalking anyone for any reason

~ Repeat offenses of this list

Understanding and responding to your red flags and being able to detect your own patterns of relationship selection with your dangerous man types will aid in changing your life and your future relationships.

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