How to change your husband or how do I change my husband is an answer a lot of women would love to have. You knew the man you fell in love with and married wasn’t perfect but you saw great potential in him. There was nothing wrong with him that couldn’t be fixed after spending some quality time with you.
Perhaps you actually fell in love with his potential instead of who he was. You were willing to overlook his flaws with the expectation that your husband would change into the man you wanted him to be. What you saw in him was your idealized perfect mate. The only problem is that your husband hasn’t changed the way you expected or needed him to. It’s not like he made a promise to change if you agreed to marry him, but it was clear to you that your loving ways would brush off on him.
You believe that you are a perfect loving, supportive and understanding partner who is 100 percent committed to your relationship. You love your husband unconditionally. However, you are struggling with the fact that your husband doesn’t return the love, support or understanding you need. You know deep down inside he is capable of being the spouse you need if you could just get your husband to make a few changes.
Can you change your husband or should you accept him just the way he is?
One question you need to wrestle with is does your husband know the real you? Have you been honest about your feelings, happiness or expectations? If you have been pretending to be satisfied with your marriage and have been giving your husband everything that he needs from you why would your husband even feel like he needs to change?
On the outside it looks as though you are perfect soul-mates and things couldn’t be better. However, on the inside you have been patiently waiting for him to change, but it’s not happening fast enough. So as time goes back you began to try to mold him by telling him what to do, correcting him, nagging, demanding, and complaining.
This will ultimately result in tension and conflict in your relationship. You will become more dissatisfied as time goes on because he hasn’t changed and your husband will become frustrated and resentful because you have changed in his eyes.
So now you’re stuck because your husband thinks you changed and are no longer the loving, understanding and supportive person he married. You are unhappy and confused why he hasn’t lived up to his potential.
Can you change your husband? The answer probably not! You will have an easier time changing yourself and letting your husband do his own changing.
If your husband gets to know the real you and what you need from him to change your marriage into one where both of you are happy, he will more than likely subconsciously work on meeting you half way.
The one thing you don’t want to do is give your husband mixed messages. If he thinks you are happy with the way things are he will not make any changes. It’s even worse because he is the same person you married except he didn’t know you expected to mold him into your idealized perfect mate.
You can change your husband and get the marriage you expected. However, you have to wonder if your husband will still be happy after he changes. You could be happy and he could become miserable.
Instead of trying to change your husband you should probably take a step back and invest some time in examining the things you want to change? Are they things that really matter to you? Are they important enough to want to change your husband?
If they are then by all means get started on changing your husband. The first step is to let your husband know what’s frustrating you and how although you haven’t communicated your feelings in the past, you really want to work together on making some changes in your relationship.
Let your husband know that the first change will be made by you because you will no longer conceal your feelings and you will be more open with him.
Instead of trying to change your husband you should commit to working together with your husband to Transform Your Marriage