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How is your relationship really? Do you guys have times when you yell, times when you call each other names, times when you put each other down? Well what if I told you that there is sucha thing as having the perfect relationship. You should try to be the change that you want to see, dont wait for your partner or expect them to be the better person first.
You can look out for each other, you can try thinking of that other person before you think of yourself. My marriage started with me being very selfish. I was always trying to defend myself and never thought of my husbands needs.
Ask yourself these questions:
- Do you always end up trying to defend yourself during an argument.
- Are things more about "who did what" it should be about "what can we do to fix this"?
I really feel that the BIGGEST problem in relationships is that people only think of themselves.
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How about trying the following:
- when you have an argument, try to listen to your partner finished before yougive your side of the story...never interrupt him/her
- Always try to put yourself in your partner's shoes and try to imagine what he/she was thinking and feeling. Try to really understand.
- Never try to change your partner for your own selfish gain. Why did you get involved with them in the first place? Hopefully because of who they are!
- Never manipulate to get your own way. This is also another thing that you will only do if you are being selfish. In my case I use to manipulate my husband in always having him to myself by keeping him away from other people in his life.
Now you might be asking : "what does it matter...he wont understand, why should I be the only one thats trying?" Well let me tell you... For three years I was the one in our relationship that was stubborn, my husband tried to show me what love was really about. I was too caught up in past experiences to notice how much he really loved me.
My point is that if you will just stick in there and love that person no matter what and show them that you really care...then that person has no other choice, they will eventually realise what real love is all about. Its all about loving that other person as much or even more than what you love yourself. hopefully it doesn't take them as long as it took me.
A covenant in marraige is about letting the old "you" die, and becoming one with the other person. Then both of you can live for and through one another.