When going through a split up with your ex, it's like having your gut wrenched out and feeling your heart break. If you've ever had that feeling, you know exactly what I'm Talking about. If you're lucky enough not to have had that feeling yet, just hope you're never in a situation where you do. When you're in the middle of it, it seems like it will never end even though it will.
Many people's first emotions are anger and wondering how he or she could do this to me. That's exactly what I felt. Once you calm down from the shock and time passes, many people start thinking about ways they can win them back. It happens quite often between people just like you and your ex, but rarely is it an easy process. Sometimes a reconciliation can just happen, more often it's because of a step-by-step plan that is followed. There is a guidebook called The Magic of Making Up that gives you several tips for winning your ex back.
Typically there are a few things that most successful reconciliation's share in common. Winning an ex back is a time-consuming process with uncertain results. So these are just guidelines to get you started. Many people who have been successful have used some of these guidelines in their efforts.
1. Acceptance of the breakup is the first step. It's not possible to undo a breakup once it has happened. Even if you do successfully reconcile with your ex, the dynamics of the relationship have been changed forever. Take this time to think about what your role in the breakup may have been. A one-sided breakup is a rare thing. But often one or the other party is "in the dark" as to what their role was in the breakup.
2. It's important to remember to give your ex some space right after the breakup. Don't relentlessly start making phone calls and sending text messages to your ex. Nothing will drive them away faster. Desperation is not an attractive trait and will certainly make any kind of reconciliation just that much more difficult. Give them a little bit of space.
3. Stay sociable and don't become a hermit. It is important to stay social and go out. Ask for the support of family and friends. There are certainly family members or people in your circle of friends who have gone through what you are going through. It is important to note that you are not alone and talking to these people about their experiences can help you do this. This can be a comforting feeling during a difficult time.
4. It's hard but you must be patient. A situation like this will not resolve itself overnight.Time and patience is what it takes. Your ex may start seeing other people after the breakup. You must accept that as just part of the current reality. It is pretty much futile to try to stop it because you will only drive your ex further away.
As mentioned at the start of the article. One excellent resource that goes into much more depth on the above 4 points as well as laying out a step-by-step plan for you to get your ex back is a book called The Magic of Making Up. The book is a bestseller in the making up category and for good reason. The book has a very good track record at helping people reconcile with their ex and in building stronger relationships for future.
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