How Erica Learned to Inspire, Motivate and Mold Her Husband's Behavior and Attitudes
A client of mine named Erica came to see me several months ago. She was experiencing frequent panic attacks to the extent that she couldn't even drive herself anywhere, due to her fears. When we discussed her marriage, she told me she was confident that her husband, Doug, loved her -- but all he seemed to care about was for her to “just get better already." She longed for his support because she suffered from embarrassment, shame and hopelessness over her mental condition.
What Erica didn't realize is how deeply Doug WANTED to help her -- but he just didn't know how. He was simply doing what men do – telling her to get better because that's what men usually do to uplift each other -- giving the unspoken encouragement that "You're strong and I know you can beat this." But Erica saw Doug's typical male behavior as a sign of impatience, unsupportiveness and unlovingness.
Acting on the advice that I reveal in page 13 of What Husbands Can't Resist, Erica began to "invest" in her husband. She learned ways to inspire, motivate and mold her husband's behavior and attitudes -- and she was astonished at how patient he soon became. The most surprising thing to her was how the simple strategy of keeping her house clean (see page 41) made Doug immediately more attentive to her!
Within a few weeks' time, Doug became less concerned about her “getting better” and more concerned about her as his wife -- her mental condition notwithstanding. Ironically, almost as soon as Doug began showing Erica that he accepted, supported and loved her, the panic attacks disappeared.