No Respect Results in a Lousy Marriage

Listen up guys and gals. Marriage is a respected institution. All the books and columnists say it is. The Bible says it is. Even Dr. Phil says it is. Now, what more authority do you need to convince you?

The keyword here is "respect". I think this is the single most important word that married couples sometime forget. Running to a marriage counselor at the first sign of lack of agreement is not always the answer.

Jill, do you respect the fact that your hubby Jack enjoys playing golf? Maybe he even likes to watch sports on TV occasionally. Many times he must stay late at work for a project to be finished on time. This is his time to show his boss that he will go the extra mile for a really important job to be completed.

This doesn't mean that he doesn't love you as much as you thought he did. It is simply just part of his DNA.

I'm really not picking on you Jill. Obviously, the respect must be mutual.

Jack, you must respect Jill's role at home and work and adjust your hobby time, TV watching, and staying late at your job to mesh with Jill's agenda.

Jack, maybe Jill wants to sell products at home parties for a little extra spending income, or take classes at the local college, or bang a ball around on the tennis court on a regular basis to keep fit. Should these hobbies or desires be an anchor dragging down your marriage? I think not.

Jack and Jill, guilt trips are not the answer here. Each of you is entitled to a life outside of marriage to engage in reasonable social and business activities. To make this work, the word "reasonable" should be emphasized. Your partner's needs and desires must certainly be considered. Work it out somehow! Negotiate! It shouldn't have to be rocket science.

If you really stop to analyze it, you probably would have to agree that all the activities you both participate in broaden your outlook on life and make you more attractive to each other. Certainly, you both would have more conversational points to bring up to improve communication between the two of you.

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